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Testimonies
Members can add testimonies. Register here or Login here.My Journey Towards God
I don't know the exact day whe I became a Christian, it was a very gradual process. Neither can I tell you the day when it all started, but I presume when I was born, or maybe before, although I was not aware of that for many years.
I was born in Soviet Union, where everybody was supposed to be an atheist, so I was. I was sure that those few people who did believe in God were complete idiots and sometimes entertained myself going with my friend to the only Church in my town to tease the priest. I first could see the word The Bible mentioned in The Adventures of Tom Sawer book. But at the same time I knew for sure that there was something supernatural in the world which could help me if I ask It, and It did help. Of course, I would never consider it had anything to do with God.
I was a very good girl during my childhood. Well, actually I was not, I was spoiled at home and could co anything I wanted there. But still I was a very good student at school. My teachrs never ever had any complaints about me. I never told lies and knew what was good and what bad. Nevertheless, I was not popularamong the children. And I wanted to be popular wo badly... So I started changing myself. It was a hard and painful work, but I did that. At the same time I started thinking about good and bad. Who said so? Maybe, it wasold-fashioned, maybe, now it was different? So when I finished the school, I decided to become a bad girl. So I did, which increased my popularity even more. I was happy. I got, what I wanted. Often I felt inside that it was wrong, but I stopped that feling, explaining everything by my old silly habits. That was the life I'd dreamt of. The only thing was bothering me - I could not bear to be alone. So I always had people coming, going and staying at my place. And when I had nobody around, I was spending time talking on the phone. When I moved to Israel, nothing changed. Neither it did when my daughter was born. Now I'm ashamed to remember that, but I have to so that you understood me properly. I wanted to try evetything. I was smoking, drinking, smoking marijuana, having relationship with many men, some of whom were married. I even tried heavy drugs couple of times, once nearly died.
Gradually I started getting tired of that "perfect life" I led. I felt lonely and scared. I started living with a man who was very similar to me and led the life similar to mine. Our relationships had been difficult from the beginning, but for some reasons I believed e was the one I was looking for and was determined to tolerate everything joping for changes. Together we sere looking for something different and started practicing yoga, fen-shui and other similar things. We both were very intellectual, read lots of books, but wereunhappy.
Not long before that I was on visit to Russia, where was baptised in Russian Orthodox Church. It happened because of my friend who had been a Christian for a few years at that time. Unfortunately later I understood that she did not really understand what it meant. Neither did I. I just started wearing cross proudoy (which was not appreiated by Israeli people), going to the Russian Church occasionally and drinking havily at Easter.
Six and a half years ago I moved to England with my daughter and my now ex-husband (then boy-friend). Here I learnt that there was no any Russian Orthodox Church in Newcastle area, but in a few months time I met a lady who invited me to a service in the church. So I went. It was a very interesting experience for me. I'd never seen anything like that before. I went there with that lady couple of times and then started foing by myself more and more regularly.
The ways God leads us to Himself are so amazingly different and perfect! Just here in England I started understanding what Christianity was about and started reading The Bible. Then it happened, my boy-friend was taken to a detention centre to be deported. I started fighting for him. I was on hunger-strike for 3 days, it was in newspapers, on TV, then... he was deported. But time we could not imagine the life without each other, neither could we imagine going back to Israel. So he came back and was stopped in the airport and put in the prison, where he spent 2 months. All that time I was doing my best to help him and... was praying my heart out. He was going to be depoted again, there was no way to help him, but once when I was visiting him, I got a message from God. He did what I asked Him of, I knew, my boy-friend was going to be let out of prison. So he was. That time I made a big leap towards God, because He'd shown me a miracle, not the first and fortunately not the last, but one of most impressive ones.
After tow years going to the Church of England I realised, that I was lucking something in my relationships with Jesus, I wanted more, and there was nobody to tald about that with. I even was confirmed, but nothing changed. I started thinking about Holy Spirit and praying in tongues, but I knes nothing about that. So I started praying. It took a few months. Then Jesus brought me to a Pentecostal Church, where I was baptised in Holy Spirit and started praying in tongues.
I still have problems in my Chrstian life, but I never in my life felt happier, safer and more leved, than now. And my biggest desire is to help as more people a possible to feel that way.
I was born in Soviet Union, where everybody was supposed to be an atheist, so I was. I was sure that those few people who did believe in God were complete idiots and sometimes entertained myself going with my friend to the only Church in my town to tease the priest. I first could see the word The Bible mentioned in The Adventures of Tom Sawer book. But at the same time I knew for sure that there was something supernatural in the world which could help me if I ask It, and It did help. Of course, I would never consider it had anything to do with God.
I was a very good girl during my childhood. Well, actually I was not, I was spoiled at home and could co anything I wanted there. But still I was a very good student at school. My teachrs never ever had any complaints about me. I never told lies and knew what was good and what bad. Nevertheless, I was not popularamong the children. And I wanted to be popular wo badly... So I started changing myself. It was a hard and painful work, but I did that. At the same time I started thinking about good and bad. Who said so? Maybe, it wasold-fashioned, maybe, now it was different? So when I finished the school, I decided to become a bad girl. So I did, which increased my popularity even more. I was happy. I got, what I wanted. Often I felt inside that it was wrong, but I stopped that feling, explaining everything by my old silly habits. That was the life I'd dreamt of. The only thing was bothering me - I could not bear to be alone. So I always had people coming, going and staying at my place. And when I had nobody around, I was spending time talking on the phone. When I moved to Israel, nothing changed. Neither it did when my daughter was born. Now I'm ashamed to remember that, but I have to so that you understood me properly. I wanted to try evetything. I was smoking, drinking, smoking marijuana, having relationship with many men, some of whom were married. I even tried heavy drugs couple of times, once nearly died.
Gradually I started getting tired of that "perfect life" I led. I felt lonely and scared. I started living with a man who was very similar to me and led the life similar to mine. Our relationships had been difficult from the beginning, but for some reasons I believed e was the one I was looking for and was determined to tolerate everything joping for changes. Together we sere looking for something different and started practicing yoga, fen-shui and other similar things. We both were very intellectual, read lots of books, but wereunhappy.
Not long before that I was on visit to Russia, where was baptised in Russian Orthodox Church. It happened because of my friend who had been a Christian for a few years at that time. Unfortunately later I understood that she did not really understand what it meant. Neither did I. I just started wearing cross proudoy (which was not appreiated by Israeli people), going to the Russian Church occasionally and drinking havily at Easter.
Six and a half years ago I moved to England with my daughter and my now ex-husband (then boy-friend). Here I learnt that there was no any Russian Orthodox Church in Newcastle area, but in a few months time I met a lady who invited me to a service in the church. So I went. It was a very interesting experience for me. I'd never seen anything like that before. I went there with that lady couple of times and then started foing by myself more and more regularly.
The ways God leads us to Himself are so amazingly different and perfect! Just here in England I started understanding what Christianity was about and started reading The Bible. Then it happened, my boy-friend was taken to a detention centre to be deported. I started fighting for him. I was on hunger-strike for 3 days, it was in newspapers, on TV, then... he was deported. But time we could not imagine the life without each other, neither could we imagine going back to Israel. So he came back and was stopped in the airport and put in the prison, where he spent 2 months. All that time I was doing my best to help him and... was praying my heart out. He was going to be depoted again, there was no way to help him, but once when I was visiting him, I got a message from God. He did what I asked Him of, I knew, my boy-friend was going to be let out of prison. So he was. That time I made a big leap towards God, because He'd shown me a miracle, not the first and fortunately not the last, but one of most impressive ones.
After tow years going to the Church of England I realised, that I was lucking something in my relationships with Jesus, I wanted more, and there was nobody to tald about that with. I even was confirmed, but nothing changed. I started thinking about Holy Spirit and praying in tongues, but I knes nothing about that. So I started praying. It took a few months. Then Jesus brought me to a Pentecostal Church, where I was baptised in Holy Spirit and started praying in tongues.
I still have problems in my Chrstian life, but I never in my life felt happier, safer and more leved, than now. And my biggest desire is to help as more people a possible to feel that way.
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